Malley

11:47 pm: OH pot how i hate thee!
Okay, so i live on a wellness floor no shocker there. And i hate Pot. once again, no shocker there. So one would logically conclude that one moves onto the wellness floor to avoid pot. SO WHY THE HELL DOES MY FLOOR SMELL LIKE POT AGAIN!!!!! seriously people. I don't care what you do, just don't do it around me. you know your on a wellness floor. you know that you will have more serious conscequenes for smoking on the floor. so just don't do it. Go to a friends room. For gods sake we are a wellness floor of 20 people! 20!!! GO to the otherside of the hall if you need it that bad!

i'm coming home thursday and I can't wait.

and now ihave a headache.

the end

01:20 am: Thank you UHS
So after getting 6 nosebleeds in 9 days and having two today, I finally caved and went to health services. Luckily I didn't have to wait long, but the best they could do for me was "call your family doctor" and "I'm sorry there's really nothing we can do". Granted they were very nice but still I would like some solution to this problem. Anything. And of course when I say anything I mean "anything that doesn't require something going up my nose".

Finals are fast approaching and the work should be slowing down, but on the contrary it is picking up. More meetings and labs to do than I have time for. I'm beginning to think that I may be trying to do too much next semester. As of right now i have 15 credits and if I get in this research group it'll be 18 credits. Along with being the Vice-president of the microbiology club. Eh who knows maybe I'll make it or maybe I'll crash and burn. Only time can tell.

11:50 pm: Oy Vey
I came home this weekend for a stress/drama free weekend. So far it has been neither. Got home at 6, had another horrible nosebleed by 7, frantically upset call from Jen ( with due reason this time), and ended the day with a pounding headache. For once I would like home to be what I imagine it to be.

Without the hard times, the good times would be nothing special.

11:57 pm: i don't know why he does this or how i get myself into it. well i know how i get myself into it but for some reason no matter how much i tell myself not to i always end up in the same place. confused and torn. i don't know what i want but i wish i could decide already.

N0fatldies (11:43:08 PM): well thats true but mallory c'mon...you know how i feel about you
ZorrosRose28 (11:43:24 PM): i know
ZorrosRose28 (11:43:31 PM): i don't understand it
ZorrosRose28 (11:43:33 PM): but i know
N0fatldies (11:43:50 PM): what dont you understand
ZorrosRose28 (11:44:05 PM): why
N0fatldies (11:44:51 PM): why i like you?
ZorrosRose28 (11:44:57 PM): yeah
N0fatldies (11:45:17 PM): r u haveing a low confidence day or something?
ZorrosRose28 (11:45:29 PM): every day is a low confidence day
N0fatldies (11:46:07 PM): mallory...dont say that there is no reason for you to have low confidence
ZorrosRose28 (11:46:33 PM): there are plenty of reasons
N0fatldies (11:47:40 PM): i dont see any and i dont see where there should be...i think that your beautiful and smart and funny ...well the easy brusing things is strage but other than that your great
ZorrosRose28 (11:47:58 PM): lol thank you
N0fatldies (11:50:15 PM): well thats why i like ytou
ZorrosRose28 (11:50:42 PM): i have to be up early tomorrow for my test. i'll talk to you later
ZorrosRose28 (11:50:43 PM): night
N0fatldies (11:50:48 PM): no
ZorrosRose28 (11:50:50 PM): i'll be home wednesdy afternoon
N0fatldies (11:50:51 PM): ok bye
ZorrosRose28 (11:50:56 PM): no what
N0fatldies (11:50:57 PM): thats late!
ZorrosRose28 (11:50:59 PM): i know
ZorrosRose28 (11:51:13 PM): my lab got cancled so acturally its early
N0fatldies (11:51:27 PM): i meant no dont go but then i decided that you should go so that yiou can get good grades and then a good job and support me when we get married
ZorrosRose28 (11:51:48 PM): lol
ZorrosRose28 (11:52:00 PM): goodnight
N0fatldies (11:52:21 PM): sweetdreams princess

04:57 pm: <td align="center">

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com</td>

05:34 pm: Thought every could use a little pick-me-up.

Natural Highs

1. Falling in love

2. Laughing so hard your face hurts

3. A hot shower

4. No lines at the supermarket

5. A special glance

6. Getting mail

7. Taking a drive on a pretty road

8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio

9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside

10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer

11. Chocolate milkshake (or vanilla or strawberry!)

12. A bubble bath

13. Giggling

14. A good conversation

15. The beach

16. Finding a 20 dollar bill in your coat from last winter

17. Laughing at yourself

18. Midnight phone calls that last for hours

19. Running through sprinklers

20. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all

21. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful

22. Laughing at an inside joke

23. Friends

24. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you

25. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep

26. Your first kiss (either the very first or with a new partner)

27. Making new friends or spending time with old ones

28. Playing with a new puppy

30. Having someone play with your hair

31. Sweet dreams

32. Hot chocolate

33. Road trips with friends

34. Swinging on swings

35. Making eye contact with a cute stranger

36. Making chocolate chip cookies

37. Having your friends send you homemade cookies

38. Holding hands with someone you care about

39. Watching the _expression on someone's face as they open a much desired
present from you

40. Watching the sunrise

41. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another
beautiful day

42. Knowing that somebody misses you

43. Getting a hug from someone you care about deeply

44. Knowing you've done the right thing, no matter what other people think

04:55 pm: I WANT A BOYFRIEND! REALLY REALLY REALLY BADLY!I KNOW IT SOUNDS STUPID AND LAME, BUT I'M DONE BEING SINGLE I'M DONE WITH BEING ALONE. FRIENDS ARE GREAT BUT I WANT SOMEONE TO LOVE AND SOMEONE TO LOVE ME.

it scares me how badly i want a boyfriend. so much so that i'm afraid i'll just take the first thing just because i'm so desperate. and that would be bad because it's not truely what i want and it's just going to end up like all my other boyfriends. i wanna go back to this summer. back to dave and jay and casey and matt. back to the parties and work.i just don't want to be alone anymore. i want to feel like i'm wanted.









the single life sucks. i've done it for too long

10:44 am: As days go by, my heart grows cold/ I can't seem to let this all pass me by
Who do you believe:
A person you've known all your life, but who you also know to be over dramatic, stubborn, twist events to make them the victim and never admits they are wrong

or

A person who you've only known for 1 1/2 weeks, but gains nothing and has no reason to lie to you

???? This is the question of the week


needless to say my sister and i are in a huge fight that ended with something along the lines of i don't want to talk to you again and i'm not going to pick up for daddy's party and i don't want mike picking you up, and you spend too much time with my boyfriend, and oh yeah completely insulting me, not listening to a word that came out of my mouth and refused to even look at the situtation from my point and view and see why she was wrong in what she did. oh and on top of all that trying to make me feel guilty for "talking to her in an unappropriate manner" and not talking to her like "an adult". More like not talking to her like she's a high and mighty goddess that i have to beg approval and praises to her before i bring forth my complaint. Oh hail thy mighty goddess i am but a worm at your feet. please advise me great goddess as to what to do for i am weak and stupid and can't make any right decisions. please check up on all my boyfriends and provide me with information that you think i don't already know. oh mighty princess please give me the honor and great pleasure to walk in your shadow and drink up all the shit you say to me.

10:30 pm: Yzma: [walking away] Why me? Why me? Why me? Why...?
If all the world, could stop to see
The way your soul has shaken me
The world might stop, and start to think
Of just how much "We" need to be.

I've seen your face, and heard your voice,
And so I had to make a choice.
To drop my guard and let you in
Let out my fears, and try to win.

For time with you, spent far or near
Brings out some things I know are clear
One thing for sure, I love your laugh
It makes me smile and laugh right back

Next thing I love, is how you think
Its like our brains, can work in sync
But last of all, I love the way
You treat me good, in every way.

This poem I wrote, to make you smile
To let you know, your worth my while.
So if wait I must, until you see
Someone like you is good for me

I'll wait right here, this much you'll see
That everyday, my friend you'll be
But if and when that day does come,
Both you and I will have such fun.

So as for now, Thank You I say,
For making sense of life each day.
I'm happy now and thanks to you,
So hopefully I'll do the same,
For us,
For Me,
And especially for You.

This was an im sent to me from a guy at westcon that i have met in person for no more than 1 hour. granted we have talked or imed each other every single night since i met him 1 week and 2 days ago.

HOW THE HELL DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN! HOW, HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN! I'm just a nice person. i told him i only wanted to be friends. he knows i hate long distance relationships. i made it very clear every time we've talked that i only want to be friends and that maybe if we were both at the same school we could have something more. it's the truth i do feel a connection to him but i can't say if i would want to date him being that i've only see him face to face for an hour probally even less than an hour. and i've told him this numerous times. i have told him that too. i have said i don't know if i would date him because we haven't seen each other that much. people are different on the phone and in person. and how can i make that decision being that i haven't know him that long. and my sister doesn't help this at all because they are ra's together and she consitantly tells him that i'm single and that she wouldn't mind if he hooked up with me. thanks jen thanks a lot. i blame all of this on her. i know i shouldn't and that in reality its not really her fault but i can't help but feel that if didn't say anything he wouldn't have jump so fast to this. one persons opinion is enough to make you look at a situation at in a different light. he called me twice today and i haven't called him back. i like talking to him. a lot but if it's going to lead to this and a constant battle of this "i'll wait for you" or "you never know what will happen in the future" and comments and compliments friends don't usually say to each other i may just not talk to him at all. i don't want to be mean and i don't want to cut off ties but he's getting way too attached. and i don't want to get attached. i feel myself starting to and i don't want that to happen.

02:07 pm: It's a beautiful rainy day outside. I got the day off work. First time that has ever happened. Having work being cancled before we get there because of rain, that is. Thank you Tropical Storm Cindy. So I took my time getting up and went to the bank, the bakery, the grocery store, subway, and the gas station where the attendent hit on me.... i think. i'm never too good at telling when that happens but i'm pretty sure he was. well it was either that or he was just very bored and overly friendly.

You ever get those days when you're totally depressed and feel like you're a failure and nothing good or right ever happens to you. I'm not having one of those days today but i've been having quite a few of them. 4th of July was probally one of the worst days i've had this summer. the kida days when you just want to breakdown but can't. so i've decided to go off the birth control. i never really liked it so i thought hey why do something if you don't like it? and then i thought about quitting my job but then quickly reconsidered it.

I think i need to take foamy's advice:The other type of person are those insignificant peons, who just have to validate themselves by being in a relationship. You know what! It's pathetic, it's weak minded and you show no inner strength whatsoever. Get over the girlfriend, get over the boyfriend or whatever the fuck your yearning for and live fucking life.